Ramadan is a busy time. This year it seems busier still. Although I cannot say this year’s business has anything to do with me engaging in any extra worship.
With my due date very close, and all the last month pains and aches attacking me with pretty much full swing, I am not fasting this year and am also struggling with the basic daily prayers. Anything extra seems so far-fetched this year. With TheLittleMiss also taking up most of my time and energies, I feel like I am letting this Ramadan go waste. Today I felt very low thinking about all this and then I realized that just the fact that I intended to do my best, and the fact that I want to but am not being able to, will be rewarded because my Lord sees and knows the struggle better than I can explain. That thought calmed me, soothed me, comforted me, uplifted me. I love being a Muslim. Love that the knowledge that Allah knows and sees all, and appreciates and rewards even little thoughts of good, is such a big comfort. To know that Allah is privy to the workings of my heart and mind, and that my pregnancy and my toddler are a blessing from Him, and that He doesn’t expect me to stretch myself and discomfort myself, and that He will reward me for whatever I even think of doing, whether I actually do it or not. Alhamdolillah for this realization.
On a lighter note, since my mother is here, helping us out, and being an over-indulgent mother, mother-in-law, and grandmother, iftar, and meals are a treat, besides the fact that having her with us is a treat in itself. TheLittleMiss is having the time of her life, with the first thing she does every morning being barging into Nanna’s bedroom and making sure she’s up to cuddle her, play with her, and give in to all her demands. I make great use of this by sleeping away pretty shamelessly.
Currently, we are all just waiting. Waiting for Baby#2 (who, by the way, really needs a better name) to make their appearance. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was obsessing over what an awful mother I am for not having anything ready for the second baby. No clothes, no blankets, no basics, and no car seat to bring them home from the hospital either. My mom came in from India with an entire stash of cute little bodysuits and clothes in a size I didn’t even remember existed, and I felt so much better that things were under control. As always, my mama had it covered. Orders for baby gear have now been placed, blankets have now been bought, bedding is on its way, and now all we are doing is waiting for the little munchkin to indicate that they’re ready to greet their loyal subjects- which is exactly what we’re going to be, since that’s what their older sister, the reigning princess made us into.
How is your Ramadan going?